Social Media Family, Friends, Colleagues and Neighbors: What I've Learned About Online Relationships

I have been involved in social media for a little over two years. Few people would disagree I am more on the social side of it than the media side but as a person with endless curiosity and a thirst to learn, I read about it, attend webinars and seminars and discuss it with others who have similar interests. I have not (yet) used it to conduct or promote business but I know many people who do and I understand how they use it. My circle of acquaintances is wide and varied across several nations; another reflection of my desire to be exposed to different ideas, cultures and lifestyles and learn from them.

Lately I have been thinking about how these relationships would be defined in terms used prior to the advent of social media. Some are obvious such as family and friends who were made prior to communicating on line. The few people I discuss possible future business collaboration with I think of as colleagues – by joining together we may mutually benefit each other with our collective talent. There are those who I enjoy speaking with but would probably never meet for a cup of coffee - these I consider neighbors. There are people who live local or have come through Boston and made a point of scheduling time to see me. When we hit it off and can sit comfortably talking for hours with no agenda, I consider these people new friends. There are instances where some of these can overlap as in when a neighbor or friend and I discover we have a mutual interest we can collaborate on. This can lead to a neighbor becoming a friend because we've found something mutual we share but there are times the connection morphs more into a colleague relationship. Given time and trust a colleague can become a friend.

Sometimes relationships are not so easily defined. The challenge there, just as in times prior to social media, is balancing how much one is willing to sink into the relationship compared to the potential return. Recently I was out with some friends I've met through social media. I brought up something minor but which troubled me none the less, hoping that by airing it, they could give me insight. They changed the subject. I steered back onto the topic which they immediately deflected. It hit me then: these are not your friends. Reflecting on this I realize, I potentially have something to offer them but minus this commonality, they likely would have nothing to do with me. And that is fine. We do have that one commonality and by working with them, under their rules, I can possibly create change in something I care about. Now I just have to decide whether I want to work with them to create this change, work alone, or not work at all.

The complexity of relationships hasn't changed with the advent of social media. Social media has just added another layer of complexity. There are and have always been relationships we nurture with the prospect of no gain aside from how they make us feel. This happens in social media, too. Sometimes it is harder to identify, though just as important to go into with not only our minds and hearts, but also our eyes, wide open.

Photograph used under creative commons license courtesy of red daisies

What Constitutes Fair Play in The Social Media Playground?

I recently came across a web article exposing a social media certification program as “nonsense.” I won't get into whether I agree or disagree. Anyone who knows me can probably guess my opinion but that is not the point of this post. The article in question absolutely skewered the partners and company offering the program. It makes me uneasy when people do that. I've ranted about a few very large companies I've had customer service issues with but as a paying customer, I have some right to do that. I try not to attack individuals but will instead comment on the behavior that disturbs me. I have many reasons for this but the main one is, I don't put myself above other people. I will satire a group but what if I am wrong about the individual? I've only walked in MY moccasins.

I find this trend of trying to make money teaching others social media disturbing. There is a purpose and place for this but not nearly to the degree it is being exploited. I agree with the author's point that anyone teaching social media should have some accreditation in the field but no formal accreditation exists (at least that I am aware of). I believe anyone with any common sense would not spend three thousand dollars for the particular program being offered. Those without common sense would be unlikely to read the article attacking the program. People seeking a magic bullet don't want to be confused by research and logic. I do not condone people taking advantage of other people. I also get angry with people who will cheapen an industry with their incompetence but it happens in every industry. Like the Lernaean Hydra, chop off one head and another will replace it. What these companies do may be at best, unprofessional and at worst, immoral but if they aren't breaking any laws, they are just capitalizing on a need. None of us has to like it but they have a right to do it.

As I researched and read off-shoots of this article and articles about the article I came back to another question I keep asking anyone who might answer: What is a social media expert? I've been asking this question for a long time. Many people I know who are knowledgeable about social media ask the same question. Most of the people I respect agree there is no definition. Social networking has been around for well over a decade but it didn't have a name at first. When it finally got a name, the average person couldn't have told you what it was. Today millions of unique visitors use social media and social networking. Most people have no idea how to use this tool to their best advantage. I know several people I would consider social media experts but not being an expert myself, my opinion hardly matters. What I do know is, there is a lot of infighting. When articles are posted such as the ones I read before writing this, many of the same people clamor to comment and show their authority. There is judgment, one-upmanship and ass kissing. I am not saying that is all I see. I also see a free exchange of ideas and knowledge. What I am saying is, before raising someone else on a pike because they are throwing sand in the playground maybe some of the experts should reflect on how they appear to the rest of us. You may be different but when you behave that way, are you really better?

(Photo credit: phauly www.flickr.com/photos/phauly/35555985 Creative Commons License)