Twitter: The Rules, The Numbers Game & Why I’m Not Playing

For the record, I dislike writing about Twitter because no one cares what I think about Twitter. I’m not a mover and shaker; a social media expert; a business; a SEO, CEO, CFO, alphabet soup; or an adult film artist. I’m regular folk but (and you knew THAT was coming) I am invested there and even if I gave up Twitter, I don’t see myself giving up ALL the relationships I’ve found through there. It is a community I have opinions about and since this is my corner of the internet, I’m going to blow some steam.

Several weeks ago someone I know joined Twitter and asked me about another person on Twitter. I responded to her that I could not vouch for that person and advised her to approach with caution. She then told me the reason she asked is because I was following them. Yikes! Well, truth be told, I followed back that person and when I reconstructed events, I remembered why I did but upon a second look, I unfollowed. Then about ten days ago another person I mutually follow asked me about some of the people I follow, I gave her my opinions and recommended a few others. She admitted to me she already followed others from my list because she trusts my judgment. Whoa. One false move and my integrity might be blown to bits. That really got me thinking even deeper about what the people I follow say about who I am.

Immediately after this event all hell broke loose (one would think) because @sethsimonds unfollowed EVERYONE. I woke up Monday morning, checked in before work, saw this, read his post and said to myself, “Good for him!” I had already tweeted to my stream that changes were afoot and people should tweet me if they saw anything that gave them concern. After work, I checked my stream and saw a lot of bile. I read several posts (including comments) accusing Mr. Simonds of being a spammer. I shook my head. There were angry retorts to him in my stream to which I pointed out, “He unfollowed EVERYONE.” The reaction was a morass of stupidity.

I don’t know Mr. Simonds. He wouldn’t know me if he ran over me. But I think I “get” why he did what he did. If I disappeared from Twitter tomorrow it would be of no consequence because I am not here to market, build a brand, promote my writing or anything but my own indulgences (which are a great deal of curiosity and my zest to learn.) Mr. Simonds is a writer vested in new media so he did the most egalitarian thing he could do when faced with the same dilemma I had. That was to unfollow everyone and start from scratch. You don’t like it, don’t follow. He said as much in his explanatory post (only in nicer terms).

Even though I am lesser known in social media, I do not have the chutzpah Mr. Simonds has and did not feel comfortable performing a mass deletion of my follow list. I have some emotional connections with the people in my stream. Some have been referred to me during bad times in order to ask questions and garner encouragement because I have been homeless and got through it on my own. Some have a mutual interest in finding a cure for cancer and supporting survivors because they are survivors or, like me, have lost loved ones due to the disease. Some have been told I am amusing and don’t have enough amusement in their lives. And some want to sell me something, want me to retweet their inanities, want me to follow back so they can increase their numbers, or want me to join their “pawparty” but that last group aren’t the ones I worried over when considering what to do about my follow list. The one thing they do have in common is they found me. Except for the rare occasion where I have been given an introduction to someone, I don’t follow anyone, even when I really, really want to.* My character on Twitter is unusual and purposely so in order to screen my vocational activities from my social media activities. My content is equally unusual and not to everyone’s taste but it is who I am. I don’t initiate follows because I don’t want to foist myself upon the potentially unwilling who might feel obligated to follow me back out of courtesy. With this in mind, if I had adopted Mr. Simonds model, I would be staring at a blank tweetstream. At the most, I would be speaking with the four people who read my blog. (*Note: this post was written when I had only a personal Twitter page and before I launched this blog. I do now initiate follows from @MsDevlin.)

What I finally did was, start eliminating people who do nothing but marketing. I did not have many of them to begin with because I don’t follow back anyone who is obviously using Twitter as nothing but a marketing platform but there are confidence tricksters who reel people in only to later do nothing but sell, Sell, SELL! Next I unfollowed people I did not recognize because they never speak with me or anyone I follow. This much more difficult because some were new and didn’t really have a chance to get to know me or maybe they aren’t on Twitter that much (and I don’t blame them because it is a time suck) or maybe they enjoy watching the tweets go by, catching links and other informative and entertaining bits, but not really joining the conversation. I know I deleted folks I would have enjoyed but now might never know and this saddens me but I had to reduce the noise so I can hear people again.

I lost a lot of followers last week. So be it. Anyone who has been paying attention could have seen this coming for weeks as I’ve tweeted for people to introduce themselves and let me get to know them. If they haven’t been paying attention the only reason I can assume they are following me is to boost their own numbers. I’m not done yet. I am giving myself until June 8^th, 2009 to have my follow list refined. Going forward, I am only going to follow people I would recommend to others. There may be different reasons why I would recommend them and like me, not everyone will be to everyone else's taste. Some might be amusing. Some might provide links to interesting news or applications. Some might be activists for things I believe in. Some might be good writers. Some people might simply be warm hearted, friendly souls who make me feel good just for knowing they are in the same world I am. It will be up to you to decide whether they have something to offer you. Or you could simply stop taking advice from an ordinary person who spends too much time dwelling on her integrity.

Entitlement versus Pragmatism

The world can be harsh and cold and becomes more so with each passing day. Everyone is looking out for themselves, which would be fine if they were not trampling over everyone else to get what they want.


We live in a world rife with expectations of entitlement. Everyone is entitled to a high paying job that makes them feel good. They are entitled to government benefits if they are sick or sad. They are entitled to good health care. They are entitled to have the police show up if someone has done them wrong. They are entitled to owning a home. They are entitled to being loved just for existing. I am not sure when all this entitlement began. I guess one could trace it back to the government programs after the Great Depression and around World War II. But back then, it seems, no one asked for anything they had not previously worked to earn. Now no one feels they have to DO anything to be entitled to everything.


The unfortunate reality is no one is entitled to anything and the sooner one realizes this, the more pragmatic a person can be about their decisions in life and the happier they will be. Everything is a risk. I can start a new job and work for a week and never get a paycheck. What would I do? I would stop working for that business. Next I could sue them and report them to the appropriate state agency. The appropriate state agency may do something to get me my pay but maybe they won’t. It depends on how much proof I have that I worked for the business and how well the business can deny it. As for a law suit, I have not been paid and law suits cost money so if I do not have any savings than I am SOL. I can sulk at how unfair life is or I can chalk this up to another lesson learned and find myself a new job. Someone can stab me to death as I walk down the street. Perhaps there are no witnesses. No one is punished. Perhaps there are witnesses but no one will talk. No one is punished. Maybe someone sees the act and does the right thing by testifying to what they saw. Then I am lucky that the killer is held accountable. I am not entitled to retribution and remember, in this scenario, I am still dead.


Some might say this is a dim view of the world but I’ve never viewed pragmatism as dim. A pragmatic view of the world keeps one sane and averts paralysis. I don’t live my life expecting someone to kill or cheat me but I keep my eyes open to the possibility and make deliberate choices to avert this. Since I don’t view my brother as my keeper, I do what is necessary to support myself and plan for catastrophic events (illness, natural disaster, loss of income, among other things). I don’t judge myself based on my neighbor’s behavior because I am not my neighbor. If he does not work, I am not going to refuse work until he “pulls his load.” I don’t say, “That’s not my job” when something needs to be done, I know how to do it and have the resources to do it.
I am aware I live among others and owe them a duty as I well as the one I owe myself. This is not Kansas and I’m not Dorothy. I might wince when the first work week of my month goes to taxes but I know I have to pay for the roads I drive on and my unfortunate neighbor. I shrug this off because it is the right thing to do. I am paying attention to where my dollars are going. I am voting my conscience. I am writing this post. I am hoping my thoughts make others think and do some of the same but I am pragmatic about that, too.

How I Came By My Conservative Political Beliefs

I have been mulling this post over for weeks. I know I am making myself a target by even writing it but as I concluded back when I started to encourage the bullies to beat me up instead of the younger kids, “As long as they are beating me up, they aren’t beating someone else up.”


I know my life philosophy is different than many, even other Republicans but it is borne from my life experiences. You may want to keep this is mind if you are reading this. I represent only myself and my opinions are not necessarily representative of those of the party to which I belong.


Both my parents were members of the Democratic Party. I am a very younger sibling to their first four so I remember being at various Democratic campaign offices as a child because there was no one to sit for me. My Father was retired military, a veteran of two wars and my Mother the first generation of immigrant citizens. They were also very young children during The Great Depression. My Father, a self employed carpenter, died when I was thirteen. My Mother, a Mental Health Worker for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, died when I was twenty two. Both died of cancer before they could retire. I only say all this to give you an idea of the values and lessons they likely passed on to me. It would take a book to elaborate on what these are.


If you have read my earlier posts you know I was homeless after my mother died. I was young, just starting out, and had spent all my savings while on a leave of absence from work, to care for my dying mother. I was very thankful and lucky that my employer let me come back after my mother’s death. My manager knew I had no place to live but withheld judgment since I always showed up to work on time, clean, appropriately dressed and ready to fulfill my responsibilities. It wasn’t an easy time in my life. I looked around to see if there were any programs to help me get back on my feet. All I wanted was a loan for three months rent (first month, last month and a month security deposit). I was gainfully employed, ready and able to pay back a loan. There were not any programs set up for this. I could get a handout but only if I were: battered; a woman with dependent children; physically handicapped; mentally ill and/or a substance abuser or homeless AND unemployed. Just to make sure I understood I asked, “If I quit my job, I’d be eligible for assistance?” This was answered affirmatively.


Whoa. The idea of giving up my employment, the one thing keeping me going, in order to receive a hand out is and was anathema to me. It didn't make sense to me then and doesn't now. I couldn't even get into a shelter because they locked them down before I could get there from work. I welcome someone who can explain to me how it is beneficial to encourage people to drop out of productive society in order to get back on their feet.


For over ten years I juggled trying to keep a roof over my head, some times narrowly succeeding and sometimes failing - never getting far enough ahead to feel stable, settled. Even now, I know how quickly it can all be gone. Through mistreatment by employers and crimes committed on me because I had no "status" and therefore no defense, I've survived. In retrospect, I’m grateful I had that opportunity to grow and learn.
I’ve also spent years in the non-profit sector – consumer advocacy, credit counseling, arbitrating and pro bono legal work. It feels good to help others. If you’ve never tried it, you should. Unfortunately this also taught me a more than I wanted to know about human nature and politics. There is a sizable portion of the human population who think they should be able to get things for free and as a result, be better off than those people giving them free services. What is wrong with that picture? When I was a consumer advocate I met many people who lost tens of thousands of dollars on get rich quick schemes where the secret to getting rich was preying on others. Is it any wonder they were prey? I am not talking subtle con games where it is hard to tell where the money is going to come from but schemes where it is obvious they are going to find “chumps” to earn money from. If that is not an insight into human nature, I’m not sure what is.


As a credit counselor right after the last recession, I was responsible for analyzing people’s debt, income and life situations to formulate a plan to help cash strapped people get back on their feet, financially. This position was also an eye opener. I found the largest reason otherwise responsible and hard working people incurred debt is due to unexpected health emergencies. It is easy to sympathize with that plight but the other primary reason for people getting in over their head was living beyond their means. It is the second sort who were most likely to complain they still had to pay back some of the debt they incurred. My usual way of dealing with their complaints was to ask them what they bought on unsecured credit and the answers were stereo equipment, large screen televisions, dinners out, etc. – to my ears, unnecessary garbage. To those who balked that I could only control their interest and fees but not alter their principal I clucked sympathetically and asked if they were willing to return their goods, minus depreciation of course, to the bank. That shut them up every time.


I later sought a career that suited my skill set, was resilient in a bad economy and would not leave me living hand to mouth. I found it in insurance and law. Let me say straight off I dislike insurance companies and some lawyers for the same reasons many other people do but seeing it from the inside is fascinating. I loved being able to help someone who was seriously injured get back on their feet and back into life. I hated when I had to make people jump through hoops to get what they rightly deserved but I learned it was other people who made the system that way – not insurance companies. I’ve seen people who sprained an ankle, at work or in an auto accident, take two years to heal. This is not an exaggeration – I’ve seen the x-rays, MRIs, EMGs and there may be swelling and bruising, but it subsides. Still, if one keeps saying they are in pain and a doctor is still willing to treat them, it can go on and on and on. Beats working, right?


I could go on but you are already wondering, “What’s your point?” Through all this I learned modern humans like being taken care of and there is a segment of the population who likes taking care of them. A portion of the species are happiest when they can get the most amount of gain from the least amount of expended energy. Just look at the number of “get rich quick working at home” schemes on Twitter. To make matters worse there is a segment of the population encouraging this behavior. People are trying to be kind and sometimes they are but other times they are enabling a weaker segment of our race. I’m all for a hand up but not so much a hand out. I’m all for giving people the tools to make themselves better rather than the tools to make up more excuses why they can’t be.


I don’t have much use for government and the government of BOTH major parties has shown it does not have much use for me. But Republicans encourage my industry and don’t lie to me by making empty promises that they will care for me if I need caring for. I believe our government should be our guide and not our complete means of support. I believe in the U.S. Constitution, limited interference from the federal government and states rights.


Think you know me now? I also don’t think the federal government belongs in our bedrooms. If my meaning is not obvious enough to you - I don’t believe the federal government should be determining reproduction, marriage or morals beyond those basics covered in our constitution. I believe moral behavior is best taught at home according to one’s own culture and religion. I believe this is what our forefathers intended and the First Amendment of our Constitution reinforces.


Presently both the major United States parties are ticking me off. My own party gets my goat in violating one of their original core principals by trying to use the federal government to legislate morality. The Democratic Party has me peeved with their bailouts. Mostly it is individual members of each party who are so set in their ways that they can’t speak, do not want to speak, with each other. They seem to have forgotten we are all part of the same nation and as such, it is the progress and success of our nation we should work together to fulfill.


So flame away, all of you. The right can tell me I am going to hell in a hand basket and the left can tell me I couldn’t understand what it is to be underprivileged because, being a Republican; I obviously live a life of great means in my ivory tower. Flame away.

Follow Friday?

This post grew out of several simultaneous conversations I had on Twitter on the morning of Friday March 27th, 2009. It began with me asking: Is Follow Friday almost over?


Before I go any further, please allow me to reiterate something I stress on my Twitter homepage: I am NOT a social media expert. I’ve never pretended to be a social media expert and never will be. The opinions on this blog are my own, until you comment. I welcome hearing from you. I learn the most once I step away from the keyboard and listen to you. Also, I will use no names in this post. I’m aware the comments can be researched but I’m not sure the names are relevant.


Here is a taste of the responses I received to, “Is Follow Friday almost over?”
X: LOL! No such luck, Sweetie! We need to invent a really strong breakfast cocktail, a Follow Friday, to help us make it through!
Y: Now that websites exist that are showing #FF rank (can you believe it?), I see it going on indefinitely. It should've been 1 week.
Pecan: Even one week a month would have been fine but 52 times a year?! *slams head on water bottle*
Z: I think it just started. You don't like follow friday?
Pecan: It started many weeks ago.* I liked it when it was a novelty. It is good to appreciate 1's followers. But not lists & lists every week. *Follow Friday was started on January 16th, 2009 by Micah Baldwin.
X: The dirty little secret about Follow Friday is that people--even the people who tweet them--ignore them.
Pecan: What is so secret about knowing people do the same thing I do?
X: The point is that people who play that dastardly little game seem to think they are helping others to build numbers, but no.
Pecan: I think they are (helping) among the newbies. People with lighter streams are the only ones with time to read those lists.
B: Agreed. It detracts from the 'special' of it in a way that birthdays would be less special if they were celebrated every month.
Pecan: Then you understand what I mean. I'm not against #followfriday. I just don't think it should be EVERY Friday.
C: Sometimes I feel like rebelling and listing my recommendations on a different day, so people might actually read them.


Hopefully from the above you can discern I like the idea of showcasing the people I follow but I don’t like the frequency with which this is done. To me, the more I see of one thing, the more it appears as static in my tweet stream. I am also disheartened when I see a tweet that lists nothing but a group of user names preceded or followed by #followfriday. This does not tell me why the tweeter thinks their recommendation should be followed. Maybe it is enough that I am following the person who tweeted it to my stream? Maybe that should be enough but I am still getting to know some of the people I follow and this takes time. I value the tweets that tell me something about the person being recommended – they are funny or wise or kind, a talented developer, a great writer, or a tremendous humanitarian. I’ve since learned I am out of touch.


A new follow contributed to the conversation:
Mentor: Re #followfriday- then you have missed the point
Pecan: Why don't you educate me then?
Mentor: It would take too long to do properly: short version - Friday occurs once a week, ergo Friday Followers follow once/week . Logic?
Pecan: If it would take too long to explain on Twitter, why don't you write a blog post about it as a service to the rest of us?
Mentor: I don't have a blog site, but if you u really don't get it, I'm happy to place some advice on yours.
Pecan: If I can find the time, I'll write a post about #followfriday and you can educate me and the rest of us there.
Mentor: My pleasure...and yours, I'm sure. Deadline???


I’ll admit that last tweet tweaked me because I said I would write a post “If I can find the time” only to find myself being asked about a deadline. I do feel manipulated into giving up time to get this out of the way during the busiest part of my month. (Please don’t get any ideas because that won’t work again.) The benefit to getting this out of the way is, I will hopefully soon know where my thinking is flawed. Now it is your turn.

The Tufts Medical Center/Blue Cross Blue Shield Debacle

This past Monday, January 5th, 2009, I heard with interest Tufts Medical Center would no longer accept Blue Cross Blue Shield as medical insurance because negotiations had broken down regarding reimbursement rates. Among the plethora of things I am interested in are medicine, insurance and negotiations so this whole story is right up my alley. I’ve also been employed in positions that have involved some or all of these subjects at one time or another. I am not a stranger to the health care system (though, thankfully, usually not as a patient), insurance, medical coding and billing and negotiations both independently and with health care facilities.

I understand there are always two sides to every story so I was prepared to find Tufts asking for an unreasonable increase in reimbursements but when I looked into it further I was shocked, dismayed and then impressed that Tufts Medical Center has even been able to survive in the health care climate in Massachusetts. The odds have been heavily stacked against them.

In 1993 Massachusetts General Hospital and Brigham & Women’s Hospital agreed to join forces for the sake of efficiency. Or so they said at the time but having not actually merged, there was no discernible increase in efficiency. This merger was the birth of Partner’s HealthCare. Over time Partner’s absorbed Faulkner Hospital, McLean Hospital, Newton Wellesley Hospital, North Shore Medical Center, Shaughnessy-Kaplan Rehabilitation Hospital and Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. They also spawned Rehabilitation Hospital of The Cape and the Islands.

The piece de resistance occurred in 2000 when Dr. Samuel O. Their of Partners and William C. Van Faasen of Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts brokered a gentlemen’s agreement to increase both the cost of health care and the reimbursements from insurance. Since 2000 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts has increased the amount it pays Partners Health Care by 75 percent. Partners also pressured Tufts health insurance and Harvard Pilgrim Health Care to provide similar increases. What started as a merger to increase efficiency and lower costs has grown into a huge capitalist venture between an insurance corporation and a health care ”non-profit” organization.

When arguing against agreeing to Tufts Medical Center’s nine percent reimbursement increase request Blue Cross Blue Shield points out that Tufts is not as formidable as facilities such as Massachusetts General or Brigham & Women’s but the irony is that Blue Cross Blue Shield colluded to make them that way. Blue Cross Blue Shield’s argument is not even much of an argument when you consider Tufts has one of the largest heart transplant centers in the area, gives exceptional service to patients who are, on a whole, sicker than those in other facilities and trains more primary care physicians than any other hospital.

The Boston Globe obtained rate information from Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts showing that Tufts Medical Center is paid 35 percent less than both Brigham & Women’s Hospital and Massachusetts General Hospital and 19 percent less than Beth Israel Deaconess. Lest you think this difference is because Tufts is a teaching hospital, all three of those facilities are teaching hospitals for Harvard Medical School.

From all my reading on this matter I have reached one major conclusion: Partners HealthCare and Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts started this avalanche that is now our nation’s health care crisis. Hand in hand, Partners has increased the cost of treatment while Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts has caused a raise in premiums from every insurer in order to keep up the pace of paying for it. My conclusion is only an opinion but if you start reading up on this, I think you are likely to draw the same conclusion.

As a nation, we need to work to find a solution to this crisis. We need to find a way to decrease the bureaucracy and paper work for our doctors and nurses so they can do what they do best – save lives. In the interim, until there is a solution, Blue Cross Blue Shield needs to treat Tufts Medical Center by the same standards as they treat other comparable facilities. Blue Cross Blue Shield needs to get back in the business of assuring access to quality health care rather than creating monopolies. You can afford it, Blue Cross Blue Shield. Show Tufts the money.

Twitter Etiquette: Viewpoint from a Non-Business User

I have been asked more times than I care to answer, “Why are you on Twitter?” I have dozens of answers ranging from funny to borderline snarky but the most simple is: I was invited to try Twitter and I found it informative and entertaining, so I stayed. The reason I am asked this question so often is because I am not promoting or selling anything on Twitter. I am not writing a book. I do not have a product. I am not offering a service. I am not doing research. I am also not in search for someone to build me a website for free (yes, there are those people out there). My Twitter timeline is my party where I can wander freely; catching up with the daily lives of friends, trends, politics, philosophy, opinion, and anything else that would normally be discussed in polite company.


I have learned a great deal on Twitter. I have read books I would not have otherwise been exposed to. I have received technical tips and been steered to products suitable for my applications. I have received heartfelt advice on personal matters. I have been cheered up when I’ve been down and received encouragement to undertake projects I think up. I have also made real life friends I can share a beer with.


From feedback I have received, I also contribute something to Twitter even though I am not selling anything and am not a “social media expert/guru/professional.” If someone asks a question and I have an answer or opinion, I am not shy about answering. I have connected people who need each others’ goods and services. I give encouragement when I think it is warranted. If there is a person, place, product or service I think deserves notice, I will single them/it out for others to examine or disregard, as they see fit. I have often been told that just seeing my goofy face pop up in the middle of one’s Twitter screen, is enough to snap a person out of a funk.


My point in giving you this preface/background is, even though I am not a “social media expert/guru/professional,” the impression you leave me with should still matter to you. I and others like me can connect you with your “market.” Also, I and others like me come from very diverse backgrounds and know a lot of things you might not have been exposed to while you’ve been busy trying to create your product, your service, your campaign or your mystique of internet guru-ness. We can help you. We are all in this new media together so without further ado, here are some suggestions for you:


Twitter is a Social Network. I agree that once you get to know someone, you might wish to direct message them for feedback or advice or to swap email addresses. Please do not thank me for following you and send me a link all in the same message. If I am following you, I already checked out the link above your bio. If there was no link there, then shame on you. If you have more than one link, your bio is the perfect place to work that in. As far as sending me a thank you via direct message, I find this disingenuous (but admit I could be alone in this). You are grateful to me but don’t want anyone to know? When I thank people, I want others to know someone has done me a good turn and who that someone is. Maybe you should hold off the thank you until I’ve given you something tangible to be thankful for. I have wrestled with the “thank you for following” dilemma and have come to the conclusion the best way to thank an individual for following me is to give to them the myriad things I cite above. I thank them by letting them know I see them, responding to their questions or ideas, and engaging them. There is no short cut for this and you aren’t fooling the recipients of your automatically generated direct messages.


Another turn off is the public message thanking twelve people for following you. After the first “@” the other people are not going to receive your reply under their reply tab.* They will only see it if they do a Twitter search for their name. This, “ Thank you @_, @_,@_@_@_, @_,@_ and @_” message tells me you want other people to know you are a very popular person. If you are indeed a very popular person, I will see it without you telling me and it will make more of an impression on me than you screaming it from the roof tops. (*Note: this has since changed with the introduction of the "mentions" tab.) 


Think about the name you choose. We all know the good names are taken and you may have to come up with ten names before you find one that hasn’t already been nabbed but you may be known by this name for a long time, so make it count. If it can’t be your name or the name of your venture, you’ll need to get creative. Please don’t mix in a bunch of numbers and underscores in between letters, if you can help it. Also, please do not make the name too long unless it is something catchy that won’t soon be forgotten. The reason I say this, I may have something to share with you when you are not currently tweeting. If you are not on my active stream to reply to, I have to remember your name and how to spell it correctly. Please don’t make me search through all my follows to communicate with you because I might not do so if I don’t have the time. I remember @w0lfh0und because he has made an impact on me but it took some effort to remember his “o”s are zeros. (All this being said, I know I’m a guinea pig on Twitter. I’m not doing “business” on Twitter – yet. I’ve saved my “real” name in case that ever happens. In the interim, there are many people who remember my quirky little name. )


Learn the difference between a “block” and an “unfollow.” Not everyone you meet on Twitter will contribute something valuable to your conversation. If that is so, there is nothing wrong with deciding to not continue following them. I don’t remember actually blocking anyone from my stream but maybe I am just lucky. Someone would have to do something particularly malicious or heinous or potentially so, for me to block them. Whether blocking or unfollowing, there is seldom a reason to announce this to your twitter stream. Announcing this, without good reason, portrays you as mean spirited and not the least bit social. Someone who is not your cup of tea may be someone else’s and it would be a shame if you let your opinion taint someone else’s without good reason.


Be genuine. If you are going to use Social Media as a means to increase your business you can not lose sight that PEOPLE buy your products, services and ideas. There really are only six (or less) degrees of separation on Twitter. I know it takes a lot of energy to keep up with hundreds, even thousands of followers. No success comes without work. There are no shortcuts. You don’t have to reply to everyone all the time but you will be noticed if you never engage anyone. If you approach your followers with good will, they will keep following.


That is my two cents on this subject at this time. You may not agree with me and I am fine with that. Part of learning from Social Media is throwing your ideas out there and then shutting up long enough to hear the perspective of other people. I encourage your feed back.

Questions About The Homeless Addressed

This comment was left on my previous blog post and there are so many questions and issues here that it is impractical for me to just comment back; thus I am making this into another post.

awplacencia said: 

Thank you! Understandably the issue of homelessness is an issue that is near and dear to your heart.

I remember some points in my life where I felt so successful, (homes, cars, business, material shit) but, wanted nothing more than to just be left alone....be free....running. The stress of the mortgages, the employees, the bills etc. was almost too much to bare. I would see homeless people as I went on my *sanity runs* thinking "wow, these guys don't have a care in the world", maybe I am the one who is an utter failure with the constant worrying and stressing that will probably cause me to have a fucking heart attack and die at 30 yrs old.

Now, of course, I have no clue what was going on in their minds or exactly what their worries were.

I just wonder, how much of homelessness is a decision or a situation just accepted because the individual just cannot mentally go on anymore.

In this case, what is best case scenario?

Who is truly helping these people that are just really in a *rut* in life ?

Is *stress* a dominate factor in homelessness ? and if so, how can it best be prevented?

Whoa… that is loaded. But good. Thank you for getting a deeper conversation started.

First off, I found it very difficult to find current statistics regarding the homeless. I dug for half an hour and only found those that I will detail below. I am sure I could have dug longer and found more but I simply do not have the time to do so right now. I’m a little disturbed that this information is buried and not more readily accessible.

I found all the following statistics at the Almanac of Policy Issues (U.S.) website, though I assure you that is not the only place I looked. According to the 1996 National Survey of the homeless 44% work, 66% are substance abusers or mentally ill, 38% are victims of theft, 22% are victims of physical assault, and 7% are victims of sexual assault. In the year 2000, The National Law Center on Homelessness estimated between 700,000 to 2 million U.S. residents are homeless on any given night. Also in the year 2000 the U.S. Conference of Mayors broke down the homeless population as 44% single men, 13% single women, 36% families with children and 7% unaccompanied minors. Those last figures make me shake my head because there have to be married people without children who have gone unreported.

What I was really looking for was a better breakdown to show who is employed and who is not and their family circumstances (single, those with family and without, married, married with children and any of the above with mental or substance abuse issues.) In the end they are still just statistics which only give an outline, but not a full picture of the homeless in the United States. (I’d have to quit my job to concentrate on the world wide problem, so I apologize for just speaking about my region.)

Now to answer the questions: I am happy for all your success but nothing comes without a cost. You never really expected you could just have material wealth without the attending responsibilities, did you? If you did, I feel so much more blessed with my humble upbringing because it planted my feet in reality. 

As for these people you saw without, “The stress of the mortgages, the employees, the bills etc.,” perhaps some were like that but I imagine many did not start that way. "Wow, these guys don't have a care in the world.” If that is true, that is because they do not have hope either.

I wrote my post from the standpoint of a rational individual with a competent education because I can not put myself in anyone else's shoes. Coming from that stand point, I have met and know many mentally ill people in the same position. They can not be judged by the same criteria as I am because they are not competent. One can not compare apples with oranges. My mother was a Mental Heath Worker for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts so we could go down the road about how inadequate the health care and mental health systems are but I do not have personal experience as an incompetent individual or as a representative for them. I speak only from my experience and don’t pretend otherwise.

As far as “no care in the world” goes, those who are not mentally ill, who are on the street, are likely to be in great debt. If you had good credit and came on bad times, you could use that credit to bolster yourself and get out of your situation. By the time Average Joe is on the street he has more worries than you could dream about. He has mountains of debt with no relief. Gone are the days of easy bankruptcy and many federal debts can never be erased. If you have no credit, it is even harder to get on your feet when you are homeless. You may gain a good job and have good references but no bank will loan you money for a deposit on an apartment. You have no equity and you are a bad risk. (I used to be a credit counselor so I know of which I speak.) And that trails you for years and years….

On your next point, “I just wonder, how much of homelessness is a decision or a situation just accepted because the individual just cannot mentally go on anymore” you picked up on a key word, “mentally.” We ARE not all built the same. For some, I think is genetic, and some is the environmental. My own opinion is that some are naturally predisposed to be survivors and some are raised that way. If you have both, you are indeed blessed; if you have one; you have a fighting chance but if you have neither, I hope you are lucky. We all have different capacities of what we can tolerate before we go “loco.” Once someone has gone off that precipice, who knows what can help them?

“What is best case scenario?” Help people before they get so desperate that they are mentally ill. I addressed the danger of this in my last blog. The homeless become a larger problem when they are more than homeless. 

“Who is truly helping these people that are just really in a *rut* in life?” The answer is: no one. If you are not qualified as disadvantaged (as quantified by the items in my last post), you are SOL. It drives people into mental illness and once there, how can we get them back as contributing members to our society? Ahhhh, see once there, they fall under “programs with assistance” and then we can help them. But now they are so damaged, and they have gotten “help.” They will never be “normal” again.

And your final point about “stress”: are you kidding yourself that only the successful have stress? Or maybe you think only the successful deserve to have stress? Everyone has stress but maybe it is not your stress. Does it make it less significant to your stress? You make it sound that way but I KNOW that is not who you are. There are just a few of us that have walked that road and come back to tell the tale. Please listen.

Does My Homelessness Upset You?

I posted a meme, a short while back, not because I have some misguided belief that anyone cares who I am or what I am about but because someone “tagged me” to write about myself. If you do not understand what I am talking about, please skip to the previous post and work your way up.


After that post, I became an instant pariah. I am neither unused nor uncomfortable with that role though I do not aspire to it. I did not like being tagged for the meme but I am game to most every thing.  I’ll play along but I am uncomfortable with fitting within pre-described rules. I thought I would use my meme as a teaching opportunity, to possibly expand a few minds.


When someone was finally honest with me, they said it was too revealing. Too revealing? It is supposed to be about me. I haven’t had a 90210 sort of life and I wouldn’t choose to forget my past even if I was able to. I have learned more from the lessons of life than I have ever learned in any book. My past is a blessing I would not disparage.


Since beating THE MAN, having freckles, arresting shoplifters, hanging spoons off my nose and stopping chain mail are not normally controversial subjects, I have to assume that admitting that I have been homeless is too revealing and judging from the response to my meme, it also made people uncomfortable.


I have thought a great deal about this and have determined their reaction is not my problem. On the internet (and elsewhere), I have read people’s accounts about divorce, domestic abuse, murder, grave illness, death, suicide, surviving rape, child molestation, and a laundry list of other uncomfortable subjects that make up life. I was hoping my meme might inspire. Instead it made people squirm. I believe this is a reflection on them, not me.


I don’t normally bring up my experience with homelessness in casual conversation but I also don’t hide it. To look at me, you would never guess I have been homeless but that is because of most people’s preconceived notions of what homelessness is. Virtually everyone is one serious illness, wrong decision or wrong investment away from homelessness. Homelessness is not the lot of just the extremely poor or mentally ill and it is about time we accept this in order to better resolve the problem.


The institutions set up to help the homeless are no better than the general public and help to perpetuate the stereotypes. Agencies are there to help the mentally ill, battered women, women with dependent children and people with substance abuse problems but if one does not fit in these categories, there is simply nowhere they can go for help which means it takes longer to crawl back to normalcy. What I find so scary is the longer one is homeless the more likely they are to become mentally ill and or a substance abuser in order the escape the reality of their situation.


Our social network compounds an already tragic and difficult problem. We can not bury our heads in the sand and pretend it away. Because I am sane, stable and capable I was able to claw my way out of poverty and homelessness. I was ever conscious that if I for a moment “looked” homeless it would only take me longer. The expense of frequent trips to the laundromat to freshen my clothes and traveling to places where I could bathe without being ejected or arrested meant less food and fewer savings for a down payment on a place to live. Maybe now that I am spelling this out a little more, you are squirming. You should.


The longer we ignore the plight of the homeless, the worse it will become. Previously normal and stable people will become mentally ill and a larger drain on our society. I am a living example of someone who fought my way out of poverty, out of homelessness, and into a successful career and a normal life. I am also not typical. Were it not for the no nonsense way my mother raised me to work hard, aim high and expect little, I would not be writing this. We can not expect others to go through this alone.


Lately I’ve been reading the blog by Matt D. Barnes*. He has been chronicling his experiences as a homeless person in England. If you think it is time to get your head out of the sand, understand the problem of homelessness and do your part to erase the ignorance surrounding this social debacle, this is recommended reading. *(Unfortunately, Mr. Barnes has since removed his blog from publication.) 

Getting To Know Me....

I was tagged for a “meme” a few months ago by a Twitter acquaintance @CalamityJen. I did not have time to fulfill the obligation but it has not been forgotten. Today I was tagged again by Twitter acquaintance @Thronkus who has posted his meme here. The object of a “meme” is to tell six things about yourself that most people would not know about you. (Or, I assume, care to know about me, but I’m not the one doing the tagging so that is not my call.)


I will start with the rules and YOU WILL SEE WHY when you reach the end. The rules to play are easy …
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on the blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.


#1: I have been homeless three times. That doesn’t mean between apartments or traveling between hostels. I mean, “Charles Dickens homeless.”


The first time was when I was 22 years old. My mother had a terminal illness and I took a leave of absence from work to care for her in her final days. She had no income so I exhausted my savings on necessities during those few months. When it was over I still had a job but nowhere to live. I used to clean myself up in the rest room at work and then work a full schedule. When I was not on the schedule, I napped in the back offices so that I would be well rested at night and I could walk around and stay awake to make sure I did not come to harm. This wasn’t always easy because there are always wackos in any city. Once the security people in the Prudential Towers rescued me from harm and when they heard my story, that same crew of guys let me sleep in the lobby during their shift whenever they were working. I learned that people can be kind, even if it gives them no benefit. It kept me going.


The second time was when I broke off my engagement to someone who (thankfully) showed his true colours as soon as I agreed to marry him. I was so grateful to escape from the situation (before I was married) that the idea of escaping with only a few clothes seemed like a pretty good deal at the time. Obviously I survived and I learned to be more careful about who I love.


The third time was as recent as the year 2000. I took a job working for a non-profit as a consumer advocate. They really wanted my skill set but the salary was not enough to pay my rent and basic necessities. I finally accepted the offer based on a verbal agreement involving a bonus after ninety days. They got around the agreement by hiring a new manager right after I started. I think you can tell where this is going…. After ninety days I reminded the CEO of our agreement and he told me to speak with my manager. My manager told me the agreement was not with her and she knew nothing about it. I had to give up my apartment but thankfully this time I had a car to live in. They had me over a barrel because I could not quit and have no job – I just had to scratch my way back again. My take away lessons here were A: get life altering agreements in writing and B: just because you are doing kind things for people and working for a non-profit, does not mean the non-profit is also kind.


I know the above is deep stuff to reveal in a “meme” but I’ve been meaning to write about it for a while anyway. I think it is appropriate here because these experiences played such a huge part in my formation. Though I have not sugar-coated anything, I could have been more graphic about how hard it was. There is no need to do so because it is over. What it produced is a pragmatist with a huge store of empathy. I also don’t fear much anymore. Our entire financial system is crumbling into the gutter and I think, “What is the worst that can happen?” I could end up destitute and homeless. I have learned there are worse things. What I have of value, I carry with me, inside of me, and I can’t imagine who could manage to take that away from me while I am still breathing.


#2: It is only appropriate to follow that up with the Reader’s Digest version of how I beat THE MAN. This takes place at the same non-profit that I worked for in 2000. Just as I had gotten to my feet and scraped up enough for a shabby studio I was informed that I was eligible for the company 401K plan. (You read that right – not a 403K plan. Even though they were a non-profit they received special dispensation to have a 401K plan.) I asked to be excluded from the plan because I could not afford to participate. I was told the plan was “mandatory.” Even to my (then) naïve ears this did not sound legal and it wasn’t. After a lot of time in the library I learned more than any layman should ever know about 401K plans. I was bounced back and forth between the Department of Labor and the Department of Revenue for several months before my Congressman (Ed Markey, for the record) forced someone to listen to me. The non-profit had to refund my money (but not the 401K because it was already invested), they had to re-vamp their 401K plan (with much greater benefit to their employees) and they suffered some serious fines from the Internal Revenue Service. A month later, I secured a much better position and gave my notice. Though I never planned it that way, giving my notice AFTER forcing these changes was like twisting the knife.


#3: On a lighter note, I have the same freckle in the same spot on my right middle finger as I do on my right middle toe.


#4: I used to arrest shoplifters as a Boston Special Police Officer for Bonwit Teller and Tower Records. During my tenure, I had the highest apprehension record at both establishments and never made a “bad stop.” Please bear with me as I point out, I was the only FEMALE in the department at Tower Records and, let me repeat, I had the HIGHEST apprehension record. On my last day, before going onto a better opportunity, I broke an internal theft ring we had been trying to crack for four months. Don’t mess with me.


#5: If given enough time (and enough tequila) I can hang up to three ordinary sized teaspoons off my nose. I have witnesses. And an ordinary sized nose.


#6: Last of all, I do not believe someone I know will die if I do not pass along your chain letter or email, or your meme, for that matter. I accept this assignment with good humour but I don’t think anyone would walk into my office and say, “You will spend two hours writing this and I won’t pay you for it.” That is how I would feel passing this on to someone. I don’t do things like that. That is not a put down to anyone who tagged me or would tag someone else because this exercise is all in fun. But things like this have to stop somewhere and they stop with me. I’ll take the heat. Now don’t you wish I was an investment banker? I would have put a stop to that whole Ponzi scheme that has caused our country’s financial collapse.

Twitter Hat Mania

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/eldevlin/2702770246/

It all started innocently enough. @pprlisa (Lisa Dilg) of Twitter placed a red beret on her avatar and started the “Anti-Pl*rk Revolución.” Plurk is a website similar to Twitter in that it is a social journal to “Share your life with friends, family and fans.” Some of @pprlisa’s followers also donned red berets and posted messages on Twitter denigrating the Plurk website. Of course this was all in jest but some “plurkers” did not take it this way. See the following amusing Plurk conversation.


It has now become custom, among a certain group of Twitter users, to don the red beret specifically at five P.M. on Fridays, though the berets occasionally pop up at other times. The circle of Twitter people (or Tweeple) who do this are the same circle I met eight days prior to this post at the Waltham, Massachusetts Tweetup hosted by @justTamar (Tamar Wallace). It is hard for me to explain what it is to witness this phenomenon for the first time. One night earlier this week I was tweeting with my new friends when I noticed that one by one, all their avatars were suddenly wearing red berets. That is when I was first told the back story to the “Anti-Pl*rk Revolución.” I donned my own beret and joined the Revolución.


This morning, coincidently a Friday, @prp2 (aka Pete) changed his avatar to show himself in a jaunty summery straw hat. I liked it, so I swiped it and stuck it on my avatar. As the day wore on, more and more of the people I follow appeared wearing the same straw hat. As I write this, @JuliaGoolia is still making hats for people. They are everywhere. The result is what you see here. What a community!