Is a Personal Social Network Emergency Notification Plan Necessary?

It started with not feeling well one Sunday morning – stuffy sinuses, sore throat and cough. I had a number of things to get done so I set to work without checking into Twitter. As I was going about my manual tasks I had plenty of time to think. What if I never went back to my social networking sites? What if, for some reason, I couldn't?

Before you starting thinking I am being morbid and melodramatic consider my sister had a stroke and aneurysm when she was exactly my age. She has neither worked nor lived independently since and she has lost her ability to communicate with all but her daughter. I've somewhat dreaded this year of my life and look forward to getting past it.

I've seen a few articles about setting up a contingency plan to inform one's social network in the event of a personal emergency. They suggest giving a trusted loved one passwords so they may communicate on your behalf. Since I am on many different sites and change my passwords regularly this is impractical. I suggest keeping a list of the sites you frequent, the email addresses attached to them and the passwords for those email addresses. Make sure your loved one keeps this information locked up in a safe place. If it becomes necessary, they can retrieve your password information through your email.

But that is not what this post is about.

My thoughts continued to wander to the point of wondering, if I disappeared would anyone in my virtual network notice? If so, who? Would it be who I would expect? When would they notice? I decided to perform an little experiment to find out and then write about my findings.

I checked my Twitter profile to make sure none of my recent tweets would cause concern. One of my Twitter friends has been missing since October. I know from his tweet stream he was headed out to a birthday party that night. I truly hope nothing happened to him. My stream appeared clean of any such red flags.

To get a sense of how likely it would be that anyone would notice my absence it should be noted that www.howoftendoyoutweet.com indicates I tweet or otherwise feed into my tweet stream an average of 86 times per day. Since this is an average it would not be unusual for me to only tweet ten times during the course of a day but to tweet nothing is unusual for me. This means I also had to avoid sending Twitpics, commenting on blogs, posting to my Posterous site or Flickr, sending emails or text messages or doing anything else that would indicate my presence on the web. After the first day I dreamed I accidentally retweeted someone while watching Twitter so I stayed off the computer after that.

Similar to many detractors of social media, I agree it is often a narcissistic pursuit. How else does one justify exposing one's activities, ideas and interests to random strangers if not to get some validation? I'm constantly amazed anyone cares enough to respond to me on the internet but then again, they are likely seeking validation in return. A certain amount of narcissism is healthy but I'm under no illusion people have my blog on a reading list or hover over my Twitter profile page waiting to see a twitpic of my lunch. Thus I was a little surprised when I received my first text message, noting my absence, Sunday night.

After this I heard nothing until Tuesday when I received another text message from a different person. Later on Tuesday I received another text from a third person. I debated what to do about these messages. I didn't want to skew the results of my experiment but it was also not my intention to unduly alarm anyone. I decided to message these three people, tell them what I was doing and ask them to pretend they had not heard from me. They thanked me and agreed to say nothing. On Wednesday I received an email from a fourth person indicating he and a fifth person were concerned about me and asking if there was anything they could do for me. I thanked them for their concern and filled them in on what I was doing. That afternoon I received another text from a sixth person but she seemed more curious than concerned so I didn't think I needed to reassure her by responding. A seventh person texted me late Wednesday night and I let her know what I was doing. She is the only one who sent a message to both my Twitter accounts. In addition to these seven people my Twitter replies tab shows me five other people noticed I was not tweeting – one on Monday, one on Tuesday, two on Wednesday and one on Thursday. This is a total of eleven people (six women and five men) or .18% of the people who openly follow my movements on the internet. Of these eleven people only three have met me in person and none were members of my family.

I can not say I am surprised by these results. A phrase of my Mother's comes to mind - “out of sight, out of mind.” I have several virtual friends I am concerned about because I have not heard from them in a while but after searching the web for activity from them there is only one who has completely dropped off the map. Also, I've only been inactive for five days. That is enough time for twenty people to unfollow me but not quite enough time for anyone to bury me.

One thing I learned from this is, I do not need a contingency plan in case anything happens to me. As long as a few people have my phone number they can text my phone and my partner can let them know what is going on. I may take the time to teach him how to respond to a Twitter DM sent to my phone but that should be sufficient. I may give his phone number to a couple people as a backup, in case anything happens to my phone, but anything more than that is exaggerating my importance to my social networking community.

What do you think of the results of my experiment? Would you have performed it differently? Would you be satisfied with these results from your own virtual community? Let me know your thoughts.

(Special thank yous go out to Rhonda, Rosy, Scott, Brendyn, Don, Amy, Margaret, Marcy, Paul, Ralph and Sarah for wondering where I was. You guys are the best!)

Image courtesy of http://www.punchstock.com)

Social Media Family, Friends, Colleagues and Neighbors: What I've Learned About Online Relationships

I have been involved in social media for a little over two years. Few people would disagree I am more on the social side of it than the media side but as a person with endless curiosity and a thirst to learn, I read about it, attend webinars and seminars and discuss it with others who have similar interests. I have not (yet) used it to conduct or promote business but I know many people who do and I understand how they use it. My circle of acquaintances is wide and varied across several nations; another reflection of my desire to be exposed to different ideas, cultures and lifestyles and learn from them.

Lately I have been thinking about how these relationships would be defined in terms used prior to the advent of social media. Some are obvious such as family and friends who were made prior to communicating on line. The few people I discuss possible future business collaboration with I think of as colleagues – by joining together we may mutually benefit each other with our collective talent. There are those who I enjoy speaking with but would probably never meet for a cup of coffee - these I consider neighbors. There are people who live local or have come through Boston and made a point of scheduling time to see me. When we hit it off and can sit comfortably talking for hours with no agenda, I consider these people new friends. There are instances where some of these can overlap as in when a neighbor or friend and I discover we have a mutual interest we can collaborate on. This can lead to a neighbor becoming a friend because we've found something mutual we share but there are times the connection morphs more into a colleague relationship. Given time and trust a colleague can become a friend.

Sometimes relationships are not so easily defined. The challenge there, just as in times prior to social media, is balancing how much one is willing to sink into the relationship compared to the potential return. Recently I was out with some friends I've met through social media. I brought up something minor but which troubled me none the less, hoping that by airing it, they could give me insight. They changed the subject. I steered back onto the topic which they immediately deflected. It hit me then: these are not your friends. Reflecting on this I realize, I potentially have something to offer them but minus this commonality, they likely would have nothing to do with me. And that is fine. We do have that one commonality and by working with them, under their rules, I can possibly create change in something I care about. Now I just have to decide whether I want to work with them to create this change, work alone, or not work at all.

The complexity of relationships hasn't changed with the advent of social media. Social media has just added another layer of complexity. There are and have always been relationships we nurture with the prospect of no gain aside from how they make us feel. This happens in social media, too. Sometimes it is harder to identify, though just as important to go into with not only our minds and hearts, but also our eyes, wide open.

Photograph used under creative commons license courtesy of red daisies

What Constitutes Fair Play in The Social Media Playground?

I recently came across a web article exposing a social media certification program as “nonsense.” I won't get into whether I agree or disagree. Anyone who knows me can probably guess my opinion but that is not the point of this post. The article in question absolutely skewered the partners and company offering the program. It makes me uneasy when people do that. I've ranted about a few very large companies I've had customer service issues with but as a paying customer, I have some right to do that. I try not to attack individuals but will instead comment on the behavior that disturbs me. I have many reasons for this but the main one is, I don't put myself above other people. I will satire a group but what if I am wrong about the individual? I've only walked in MY moccasins.

I find this trend of trying to make money teaching others social media disturbing. There is a purpose and place for this but not nearly to the degree it is being exploited. I agree with the author's point that anyone teaching social media should have some accreditation in the field but no formal accreditation exists (at least that I am aware of). I believe anyone with any common sense would not spend three thousand dollars for the particular program being offered. Those without common sense would be unlikely to read the article attacking the program. People seeking a magic bullet don't want to be confused by research and logic. I do not condone people taking advantage of other people. I also get angry with people who will cheapen an industry with their incompetence but it happens in every industry. Like the Lernaean Hydra, chop off one head and another will replace it. What these companies do may be at best, unprofessional and at worst, immoral but if they aren't breaking any laws, they are just capitalizing on a need. None of us has to like it but they have a right to do it.

As I researched and read off-shoots of this article and articles about the article I came back to another question I keep asking anyone who might answer: What is a social media expert? I've been asking this question for a long time. Many people I know who are knowledgeable about social media ask the same question. Most of the people I respect agree there is no definition. Social networking has been around for well over a decade but it didn't have a name at first. When it finally got a name, the average person couldn't have told you what it was. Today millions of unique visitors use social media and social networking. Most people have no idea how to use this tool to their best advantage. I know several people I would consider social media experts but not being an expert myself, my opinion hardly matters. What I do know is, there is a lot of infighting. When articles are posted such as the ones I read before writing this, many of the same people clamor to comment and show their authority. There is judgment, one-upmanship and ass kissing. I am not saying that is all I see. I also see a free exchange of ideas and knowledge. What I am saying is, before raising someone else on a pike because they are throwing sand in the playground maybe some of the experts should reflect on how they appear to the rest of us. You may be different but when you behave that way, are you really better?

(Photo credit: phauly www.flickr.com/photos/phauly/35555985 Creative Commons License)

An Overview of the New Retweet Feature on Twitter.com

Twitter has been gradually rolling out a number of changes in what appears to be their attempt to make third party web applications obsolete. This post will discuss the new “retweet” function on Twitter.com, the original website for Twitter. There has been much discussion about how this would look once applied. Most of the chatter I have heard has not been in favour of changing how people currently retweet. This is, I think, understandable given the fact that retweets grew organically from Twitter users and we are protective of the creative way we mould media to suit our needs. 
Briefly, for those who may not be familiar, a retweet is the reposting of a tweet that an individual feels is worthy of sharing with their followers. The traditional means of tweeting this are as follows,

RT: @personquoted Space aliens invade Punxsutawney, PA and kidnap Phil.

You spread the news but the original person gets credit for saying it first. Twitter can be a wonderfully democratic.

In the header photograph the conventional retweet formula is in violet. Notice there are two “RT”s which means this is the second time this is being repeated. This means the original message has most likely been shortened to accommodate two user names as well as the original message. The orange shows a retweet done by a third party application. Rather than starting with “RT” it ends in “via” and then posts the user name. This method can be confusing to some who mistake it for an original statement. The new retweet feature is pointed out in yellow. There is a symbol at the front of the tweet representing “retweet.” The avatar and user name is of the original person who posted the tweet. The retweet appears unaltered with the person who retweeted it, in your stream, listed at the end. It may have been retweeted several times but you will not see this in the home screen.

To examine retweets click on “Retweets” in the right hand column. This brings up a three tabbed screen with “Retweets by others,” Retweets by you” and “Your tweets, retweeted.”

The first tab shows everything that has been retweeted by anyone you follow. The avatar and name is of the person who originally posted the tweet but one can see who retweeted it to your stream by referencing the name after the tweet. Also shown are other people who have retweeted the same tweet. This is good because you can still be exposed to people outside your stream and get an idea of who may produce content that you are interested in. People may argue the original method of seeing their name in the retweet did the same thing but this is a sacrifice for being able to read the original message in it entirety.

The other two tabs are self explanatory. They show posts you have retweeted to those who follow you and posts where others have retweeted your original content. With these tabs you can examine where a retweet was before you saw it and you can track where your own original content is spread.

Through the good graces of Amy Palmer (@BoSoxAmy), Douglas Breault (@GenKreton) and Jeff Reneker (@jreneker) I was able to experiment with the retweet function and use their eyes to get an idea of what they saw in their stream. We discovered that retweets of mutual followers do not show up in an individual’s main stream. This makes sense from an efficiency standpoint since it leads to a less cluttered stream but there are times a person only catches a general post upon seeing a retweet from a mutual friend. I can see where some people won’t like this. If a person retweets another who their followers don’t follow this will appear in their stream. If someone you follow often retweets another person you don’t follow and these updates are posts you would rather not see (which is why you aren’t following them in the first place) the only way I am aware of to prevent being barraged with these retweets is to block the person you do not follow from appearing in your stream. This could become a somewhat hostile move but I can’t think of another way around it. I am very sensitive about whom I block because, while they may not be my cup of tea, they have a right to be heard and with all the spammers about, someone who is blocked too often could be seen as suspect. I hope Twitter will find another work around to this problem so that people do not have to block others just to avoid seeing them retweeted in their stream. If you go to the profile of someone you follow you can manually turn off all their retweets. If the only person they ever retweet is @Hitler this is a practical solution but chances are that is not all they retweet so turning this off means losing that potential value added content.

Another notable is, the retweet function does not work for protected accounts. The only way to retweet a post from a protected friend is to manually cut and paste or hand type it. Also, the retweet button does not allow a person to add to or change the original content of a tweet. This helps preserves the author’s original words and intent. It is arguably the best and primary reason for having a retweet button. No longer will words be cut out and spelling changed to accommodate a person’s user name. All that said, I am certain there will be a lot of backlash on this because people really LOVE to add their own two cents to retweets. The only thing I don’t like about the direct quote is not being able to delete “please retweet” or “pls RT” from the end of a retweeted post. A post should be retweeted because it has value to an audience, not because someone asks. I don’t add this to posts because I have faith in the intelligence of my followers. They know their audience and will retweet what I write if it has value to them and the people who follow them. If it doesn’t they won’t. That is the way it should be.

Finally, a person won’t see themselves retweeted in their stream. Gone are the ego gratifying days where you post something and see it catch fire across Twitter. Now you have to go to the “Your tweets, retweeted” screen to see this. I think this is a good thing. There are other metrics to determine your impact on Twitter. Why not use them and spend your time on Twitter connecting with your audience and hearing what they have to say? A cleaner stream will allow you to do just that. Plus, with any luck, you’ll learn something.

Who Is The FTC Sleeping With?

Much has been written this past week about the Federal Trade Commission's "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising" which goes into effect December 1st, 2009. These guidelines effect all persons providing commentary (reviews) on products for which they have received any form of material compensation in exchange for their commentary. The FTC seems to be giving a pass to traditional media outlets such as newspaper, television, radio and magazine news outlets and concentrates on "real" individuals who give testimonials in exchange for money or products. Going forward these individuals have to disclose when they are receiving material compensation or face fines for not doing so.

Personally I think people should have been doing this all along and some have. Better bloggers will not risk ruining their credibility by endorsing a product which is substandard. Most consumers are smarter than the FTC seems to think. Consumers who are naive enough to grant credibility to a sponsored review on a blog or an infomercial are as likely to believe the same sort of fluff from a "valid" news organization or a magazine which has to print "advertisement" over a rave review for the next big thing.

Since they don't appear to be doing much with these guidelines to protect consumers from themselves, what is the FTC really doing? Are they now in the business of regulating what qualifies as news? Several articles I've read have expressed this concern and I think it is valid. It deserves close scrutiny to examine how that all plays out. When Government gets involved in judging what is legitimate news and insinuating citizen journalism is illegitimate they are walking dangerously close to censorship similar to the Chinese model. I'm not sure that is what they are attempting to do nor do I think, if this were the FTCs motive, they could get away with it long term. There are too many individuals and lawyers to challenge them.

What I have seen curiously absent is any mention of material compensation being monitored as income. At least I find it curious and I am not much of a conspiracy theorist. The United States is in the midst of an economic recession and the United States budget is running a previously incomprehensible deficit. Anyone would be foolish to think the United States Federal Government doesn't need as many tax dollars as it can get its hands on. You're likely thinking bloggers who collect Adsense revenue and the occasional freebie in exchange for a review are making peanuts for their efforts and in many cases you may be right but there is no doubt some freelancers are making a living from web content.

Freelancers are self employed and it is generally easier for the self employed to juggle their books to appear as though they are making less income than they actually are. I can attest to this since part of my profession is to indemnify people for loss of income. The cost of these policies are partially based on the amount of income a person makes which is determined by how much the individual claims on their income taxes. When it comes time to collect on these indemnity policies it is not at all unusual for the policy holder to miraculously present alternate proof their actual income is greater than previously stated.

As the public turns away from traditional media in favour of the internet and advertisers turn from conventional print advertising to viral and guerrilla internet marketing techniques there are increasingly more opportunities for individual freelancers to profit from new media. If PR firms are seeing this, I am seeing this, and freelancers are seeing this wouldn't it be naive to think the United States Federal Government isn't? Rather than wondering whether the FTC is crawling into bed with the FCC why isn't anyone wondering whether they are crawling into bed with the IRS?

Here Is My Link

Dear Guru SEO Affiliate Marketing Expert Designer Person,

You sent me a link so I thought it would be rude of me to not send my own. I'm fully aware you won't read this because you don't have any more time to read unsolicited material from a stranger than I do. Still, my Mama raised me to be polite so I'm taking time from my busy day to write this to you.

I would hate for you to think sending out that link was a waste of time for the computer program you used to generate it so I want to reassure you; I know exactly what your link says. It tells me how wonderful you are and details the myriad accomplishments you have achieved to make you the best there is at what you do. If I stick with you, I am certainly going to achieve unimaginable heights. All I have to do is purchase and read your e-book, listen to your recording, attend your workshop, hire your company and follow all your instructions implicitly. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I am sure to succeed and if by chance I don’t, it is because I don’t know how to follow directions. It has nothing to do with you since your plan is fool proof and is the reason you are so wildly accomplished.

You can’t imagine how pleased I am that YOU, out of the kindness of your heart, have chosen ME to share your success with. I don't know what it is that made you single me out but I am grateful beyond my ability to express it. I am also humbled because unlike you, I have nothing to sell. Sure, I have causes I champion and sometimes I ask for donations or support for those causes but you can feel free to disregard any of those causes you don't personally feel passion for. I certainly will never direct message you with anything like that because I know you are a busy, busy person and frankly, those messages can be intrusive.

I hope, in return for your largesse, you allow me to be of any assistance I can to you. I know it is unlikely I have anything you could possibly need but I just wanted to put the offer out there. I've been doing a great deal of listening and learning about this new media thing and I am happy to help anyone who asks. I don't have an e-book or product like that because I like to keep things on a more personal, one-on-one basis. I also don't have any mechanism to charge you for my assistance but that hasn't been a problem in the past. Heck, it works out better for you that way because whatever I give for free is valueless and you don't have to feel any obligation toward me.

Thank you for reaching out to me and sharing your specialness. I look forward to our long and fruitful relationship.

Sincerely,

Little Ole Me

(Graphic courtesy of Rhonda Hitchcock)

Twitter for the Social Media Fledgling

I intend for this to be the most basic Twitter tutorial I can craft. I am not writing it for marketers, public relations professionals, developers, web designers or the myriad others who use Twitter for business. I am writing this for average folk who want to speak with their friends through Twitter, make new friends, and keep up with current trends, news and art. This is not to say there are not professionals who might not benefit from reading this. I’ve seen some business accounts that make me wince but from what I can tell, they won’t read this because they already know it all.

When setting up a profile, chose a user name that is catchy and easy to remember. I realize this is easier said than done because many good names have already been taken by the millions of twitter subscribers already enrolled. Just keep in mind, in order to experience Twitter to its fullest, you want people to be able to communicate easily with you. A bizarrely spelled name followed by random numbers is not going to be easy to remember and further, people are likely to think your account is spam. The shorter the name is, the easier it will be for others to remember, though if your actual name is available and you feel comfortable using it on Twitter, people will remember it once they get to know you. Look at other people’s profiles to get an idea what is effective in a user name.

Under the settings section, account tab where it asks for your name, put your real name. If you do not feel comfortable putting your first and last name, just put your first name. People want to know there is a person behind your profile.

Where it asks for “More info URL” put the web address of your web page or blog. Some people put their My Space, Facebook or LinkedIn address in here if they have no web page and this is fine. There are Twitter snobs who look down on that because they don’t think you should be on Twitter if you have not made the effort to put together something so that people can get to know you better but feel free to ignore them as you would ignore snobs you encounter in real life. If you have no other web address, leave this space blank. My only word of advice regarding this field is, if you want people to visit your site, do not use an URL shorter such as bit.ly or tinyURL to shorten the address. People want to know where they are being directed to and likely won’t click on one of these shortened addresses for fear of being routed to a site which contains viruses.

Where it asks for your location enter where you live. If you don’t want to be specific because of security concerns, put your state or region such as Metro Boston, Southern New Hampshire, New England, Mid West, New South Wales, or Rhine Valley. People want a sense of where someone is from when they are communicating with them. The phrases “here, there and everywhere” and “somewhere over the rainbow” are no where near as clever as you think.

At the settings section, picture tab where it asks you to upload a picture upload a picture of yourself. If you don’t like any pictures of yourself or are self conscious of your looks, be creative. You can take a picture of a portion of your face, your face in shadow or wearing sunglasses. Do not use a logo unless you are on Twitter to do business and it is your logo. It is wise to not use cartoons or a well known person’s likeness as this could get you sued and, unless you have a verified account, you'll come off as false. If you really, really do not want to post your photograph, upload a picture of something which represents who you are. A marine biologist could post a starfish. A writer could post a computer or typewriter. A baseball enthusiast could post a baseball or bat. Whatever you do, DO NOT leave the default twitter avatar as your picture. People will think you are spam and will block you.

The devices tab is where you can arrange for your friends’ updates to forward to your mobile phone. I would not recommend this for anyone who does not have an unlimited text plan. Turning updates “on” forwards ALL the tweets from the people you follow to your phone. Unless you intend Twitter to be your entire life, don’t turn this on. You will be bombarded with messages. Another option is to set the drop down box to “direct message.” In this instance the only messages sent to your phone are private direct messages. I know many people who chose this option but if you follow many people, this too could be overwhelming. You will have to make this decision for yourself.

If you are going to toy around under the design tab, make sure whatever you choose is easy to read. No one will be able to read navy letters on a black background so your profile will be ignored by everyone but spammers and marketers trying to sell you enemas. If you choose something other than the default cloud background people will see you at least made an effort to be an individual. If you want to make a greater effort choose a background photo that shows where you come from or part of your personality - just make sure it is not too busy or distracting. Checking “tile background” will make sure the image covers the entire background of your profile.

Now you think you are ready to tweet? Not so fast. There is another thing you should know. EVERYTHING you tweet is forever. Sure, there is a delete icon on Twitter.com but that only erases it from the site. Once you tweet something it remains on a server and can be searched through search.twitter.com and other search engines. All it takes is someone industrious who knows it is there. I’m not saying this to scare you but just so you will be a conscious tweeter.

NOW you are ready to tweet. Don't take the directive “What's happening?” too seriously. For your first tweet, we already know what you're doing - you're tweeting. Instead think about why you've joined Twitter. (Please don't say, "Because everyone is doing it." If that is your motivation, please stop reading this and go back to Facebook.) Who do you want to connect with? If it is friends who are on Twitter, you can tweet them and follow their lead. If you want to meet people with common interests tweet something about that. "I am excited to meet people who love gardening as much as I do and with whom I can share tips.” People will find you through search.twitter.com if they search the key word “gardening.” You can find people to follow using the same search. People who ask to follow you will appear under the heading of “Followers” in the center column, right hand side. Click this heading to see who they are. Click their avatar or name to see their profile. If you would like to follow them back, you can do so from their profile (click “Follow”) or from your own Follower screen (click the head symbol with the plus sign). You will get spam followers who have no tweets, only have links to bad sites which upload viruses to your computer, don’t talk with others or have links to porn or pathetic marketing sites (the equivalent of those infomercials on TV after 2AM). Approach with caution and don’t click on something until you have a good sense that it is trustworthy. Even the link within the profile can be bad news. Take your time to look around Twitter and get an idea of what is safe and what looks fishy.

You have now looked around, followed some people and had others follow you back. (Be patient. It is slow going at first but once you develop relationships with more people, your following will increase exponentially.) You will want to reply to things people have tweeted or simply give them a greeting of welcome. To reply hover your mouse over the right hand side of the tweet. (See diagram to the left.) An arrow will appear. Click on the arrow and it will both fill in their user name in the text box at the top of the screen and link to what you reply to. Within the text box, after the person’s user name, type your comment and hit send. This message will show up under their user name tab and in their Twitter stream (provided they are following you). Even if they are not following you, don't be discouraged. Reply away! If you contribute something valuable, they will soon follow you. (This doesn't necessarily hold true for celebrities of any stripe. Unless they genuinely contribute to your tweet flow, beat feet and get them out of your way. They are only using you to stoke their egos.) Since Twitter is not instant messaging, there may be times when someone responds to something you said or asked much later. Out of context, you may not know what they are replying to. If they replied correctly (by hitting the "reply to" arrow), you can click on the gray "in reply to" text under the tweet and it will show the tweet they responded to. Clicking on the time stamp will bring up the tweet separately in its own window. Knowing this is handy if you want to forward an individual tweet to someone. Simply copy the url above the tweet. I also do this if I want to get a better look at an individual's background. Some people use services such as twitbacks to put additional information about themselves on their Twitter background.

Now that you are tweeting, there are countless Twitter applications available to enhance and make your experience easier. There are also auto responder, tweet later and auto follow back applications. If you use an auto follow back system to follow back everyone who follows you, you will end up following robots and spammers in addition to actual people. I don't recommend doing this. You will grow your following numbers more quickly this way but your stream will be filled with garbage. Some people use auto direct message applications to thank people for following them. I find this disingenuous and unfollow people who send out these messages, particularly if they contain a link to their website. If someone is truly grateful to me for following them, they would not need a robot to deliver this message. Sending a link insults my intelligence because I have already checked out your website if I am following you. I'm also not a big fan of applications which send out scheduled messages. People who use Twitter successfully engage other people. If a robot is sending tweets for you, you are likely not at your computer to respond to comments and questions. I can see the value of a service like this if you are in a vastly different time zone than your audience but remember the limitations on engagement.

I hope I have been clear and thorough with my explanation for setting up a Twitter account and getting started. I will happily answer any other questions left for me in the comments section or you can follow @MsDevlin on Twitter. Happy tweeting!

Triumphing Over Depression

This post is for Lily, for Whitney, and anyone else who needs to hear it.

It pains me when I hear of anyone battling depression. I know how hopeless things can seem, how it sucks the life out of you and how, even when your logic center tells you to snap out of it, what an impossible a task that can be. You feel weak for giving into it which only feeds the depression more. When you are in its grip you feel no one understands what you are going through.

With all I’ve experienced throughout my life, I’d have to be a robot or a vegetable to not have undergone periods of depression. What I stated above doesn’t come from something I’ve read but emotions I’ve felt. I accidently discovered how to kick my depression before it takes over my life and haven’t had a debilitating occurrence again. I still get down sometimes but the difference is, I don’t stay there.

I was going through a particularly bad spot in my life. A relationship I was in had just ended, my home life was hell and I was old enough where I should have had something to show for my life but I had nothing. I was miserable. Surely there was no point in continuing. I couldn’t afford the down payment on a new apartment, I could never catch up on everything I had yet to accomplish and I was unlovable. Add that to everything that came before in my life and I was ready to find a cliff.

The morning that changed I remember like a film playing in my head. I managed to crawl out of bed and begin the long trek to work. That I still had a job during this time is miraculous. I rounded a corner and came upon a shop keeper opening his store. He gave me a hearty “Good Morning” and I couldn’t bear to bring him down so I pasted on a smile and replied in kind. I was rewarded with another flash of his great smile. Already I felt my moroseness drying up a little. I made it to the bus stop mulling over how it was possible the fellow could not have noticed what a funk I was in. Maybe he didn’t see me before I rounded the corner? More passengers arrived at the bus stop and greeted me. Rather than behave in my normal grunting fashion I also smiled at them and returned their greetings. The results were more smiles and some cheery small talk. I had the same experience with the Bus Driver when I boarded the bus. The reactions I was receiving from people gave me much to think about during my ride, so much I briefly forgot my legion of worries.

I think it is obvious where this is going so I won’t give you a blow by blow description of the rest of my day, week, month and year. My life turned a corner that day and I’ve never looked back except to be grateful for what I have now. I’m not a doctor so I can only guess as to cause and effect. My mother (coincidentally, a mental health worker) used to utter the old phrase, “Misery loves company.” I didn’t used to think about those words until after this happened. Maybe I attracted misery or maybe I didn’t. I do know I was NOT attracting joy. I’ve learned what a smile looks like reflected and it is beautiful. I am so incredibly fortunate chance taught me this. If anyone had told me something as cliché as “smile and the whole world smiles with you” I would have thought they were daft. Surely, I would have known in my head that they could not possibly know the torment I was going through. It is possible someone may have even tried to tell me this but I disregarded the advice. I had to learn it on my own.

You might ask, “If you had to learn this on your own, how do you think telling me will convince me to try it?” I am hoping you’ll consider the source. I’ve been there. If you have read prior posts you know I lost my parents at an early age and have been homeless several times. That would depress most people. There are other bad things that have happened to me but this post isn’t really about me. It’s about you and trying to help you get over the hump of debilitating depression.

Smile. Smile until it reaches from your mouth to your eyes. It takes a lot of work at first. Pretend you are trying to win an Academy Award playing a happy person. Then watch how people react to you. It is an infection of the best kind. Pour your heart into it. It costs you nothing to try this and the return on investment is phenomenal.

Research has shown some people are genetically or chemically predisposed to depression and other emotional illnesses. I wholeheartedly encourage people to seek professional care if they feel something is wrong with their emotional well being. Medical science is progressing by leaps and bounds with helping people live happy, productive lives through therapy or/and medications. This too is something to be grateful for. Now that science has enlightened us, there is no longer a stigma against depression. There is nothing wrong with talking to a doctor if you feel your emotions spiraling out of your control. You owe that to yourself. You also owe it to everyone who, without intervention, will not have the opportunity to love you at your fullest potential. If you’ve not met them yet, you will, if you give this gift to yourself (and them). Give yourself a chance.

And while you are mulling all this over, don’t forget to smile.

Twitter: The Rules, The Numbers Game & Why I’m Not Playing

For the record, I dislike writing about Twitter because no one cares what I think about Twitter. I’m not a mover and shaker; a social media expert; a business; a SEO, CEO, CFO, alphabet soup; or an adult film artist. I’m regular folk but (and you knew THAT was coming) I am invested there and even if I gave up Twitter, I don’t see myself giving up ALL the relationships I’ve found through there. It is a community I have opinions about and since this is my corner of the internet, I’m going to blow some steam.

Several weeks ago someone I know joined Twitter and asked me about another person on Twitter. I responded to her that I could not vouch for that person and advised her to approach with caution. She then told me the reason she asked is because I was following them. Yikes! Well, truth be told, I followed back that person and when I reconstructed events, I remembered why I did but upon a second look, I unfollowed. Then about ten days ago another person I mutually follow asked me about some of the people I follow, I gave her my opinions and recommended a few others. She admitted to me she already followed others from my list because she trusts my judgment. Whoa. One false move and my integrity might be blown to bits. That really got me thinking even deeper about what the people I follow say about who I am.

Immediately after this event all hell broke loose (one would think) because @sethsimonds unfollowed EVERYONE. I woke up Monday morning, checked in before work, saw this, read his post and said to myself, “Good for him!” I had already tweeted to my stream that changes were afoot and people should tweet me if they saw anything that gave them concern. After work, I checked my stream and saw a lot of bile. I read several posts (including comments) accusing Mr. Simonds of being a spammer. I shook my head. There were angry retorts to him in my stream to which I pointed out, “He unfollowed EVERYONE.” The reaction was a morass of stupidity.

I don’t know Mr. Simonds. He wouldn’t know me if he ran over me. But I think I “get” why he did what he did. If I disappeared from Twitter tomorrow it would be of no consequence because I am not here to market, build a brand, promote my writing or anything but my own indulgences (which are a great deal of curiosity and my zest to learn.) Mr. Simonds is a writer vested in new media so he did the most egalitarian thing he could do when faced with the same dilemma I had. That was to unfollow everyone and start from scratch. You don’t like it, don’t follow. He said as much in his explanatory post (only in nicer terms).

Even though I am lesser known in social media, I do not have the chutzpah Mr. Simonds has and did not feel comfortable performing a mass deletion of my follow list. I have some emotional connections with the people in my stream. Some have been referred to me during bad times in order to ask questions and garner encouragement because I have been homeless and got through it on my own. Some have a mutual interest in finding a cure for cancer and supporting survivors because they are survivors or, like me, have lost loved ones due to the disease. Some have been told I am amusing and don’t have enough amusement in their lives. And some want to sell me something, want me to retweet their inanities, want me to follow back so they can increase their numbers, or want me to join their “pawparty” but that last group aren’t the ones I worried over when considering what to do about my follow list. The one thing they do have in common is they found me. Except for the rare occasion where I have been given an introduction to someone, I don’t follow anyone, even when I really, really want to.* My character on Twitter is unusual and purposely so in order to screen my vocational activities from my social media activities. My content is equally unusual and not to everyone’s taste but it is who I am. I don’t initiate follows because I don’t want to foist myself upon the potentially unwilling who might feel obligated to follow me back out of courtesy. With this in mind, if I had adopted Mr. Simonds model, I would be staring at a blank tweetstream. At the most, I would be speaking with the four people who read my blog. (*Note: this post was written when I had only a personal Twitter page and before I launched this blog. I do now initiate follows from @MsDevlin.)

What I finally did was, start eliminating people who do nothing but marketing. I did not have many of them to begin with because I don’t follow back anyone who is obviously using Twitter as nothing but a marketing platform but there are confidence tricksters who reel people in only to later do nothing but sell, Sell, SELL! Next I unfollowed people I did not recognize because they never speak with me or anyone I follow. This much more difficult because some were new and didn’t really have a chance to get to know me or maybe they aren’t on Twitter that much (and I don’t blame them because it is a time suck) or maybe they enjoy watching the tweets go by, catching links and other informative and entertaining bits, but not really joining the conversation. I know I deleted folks I would have enjoyed but now might never know and this saddens me but I had to reduce the noise so I can hear people again.

I lost a lot of followers last week. So be it. Anyone who has been paying attention could have seen this coming for weeks as I’ve tweeted for people to introduce themselves and let me get to know them. If they haven’t been paying attention the only reason I can assume they are following me is to boost their own numbers. I’m not done yet. I am giving myself until June 8^th, 2009 to have my follow list refined. Going forward, I am only going to follow people I would recommend to others. There may be different reasons why I would recommend them and like me, not everyone will be to everyone else's taste. Some might be amusing. Some might provide links to interesting news or applications. Some might be activists for things I believe in. Some might be good writers. Some people might simply be warm hearted, friendly souls who make me feel good just for knowing they are in the same world I am. It will be up to you to decide whether they have something to offer you. Or you could simply stop taking advice from an ordinary person who spends too much time dwelling on her integrity.

Entitlement versus Pragmatism

The world can be harsh and cold and becomes more so with each passing day. Everyone is looking out for themselves, which would be fine if they were not trampling over everyone else to get what they want.


We live in a world rife with expectations of entitlement. Everyone is entitled to a high paying job that makes them feel good. They are entitled to government benefits if they are sick or sad. They are entitled to good health care. They are entitled to have the police show up if someone has done them wrong. They are entitled to owning a home. They are entitled to being loved just for existing. I am not sure when all this entitlement began. I guess one could trace it back to the government programs after the Great Depression and around World War II. But back then, it seems, no one asked for anything they had not previously worked to earn. Now no one feels they have to DO anything to be entitled to everything.


The unfortunate reality is no one is entitled to anything and the sooner one realizes this, the more pragmatic a person can be about their decisions in life and the happier they will be. Everything is a risk. I can start a new job and work for a week and never get a paycheck. What would I do? I would stop working for that business. Next I could sue them and report them to the appropriate state agency. The appropriate state agency may do something to get me my pay but maybe they won’t. It depends on how much proof I have that I worked for the business and how well the business can deny it. As for a law suit, I have not been paid and law suits cost money so if I do not have any savings than I am SOL. I can sulk at how unfair life is or I can chalk this up to another lesson learned and find myself a new job. Someone can stab me to death as I walk down the street. Perhaps there are no witnesses. No one is punished. Perhaps there are witnesses but no one will talk. No one is punished. Maybe someone sees the act and does the right thing by testifying to what they saw. Then I am lucky that the killer is held accountable. I am not entitled to retribution and remember, in this scenario, I am still dead.


Some might say this is a dim view of the world but I’ve never viewed pragmatism as dim. A pragmatic view of the world keeps one sane and averts paralysis. I don’t live my life expecting someone to kill or cheat me but I keep my eyes open to the possibility and make deliberate choices to avert this. Since I don’t view my brother as my keeper, I do what is necessary to support myself and plan for catastrophic events (illness, natural disaster, loss of income, among other things). I don’t judge myself based on my neighbor’s behavior because I am not my neighbor. If he does not work, I am not going to refuse work until he “pulls his load.” I don’t say, “That’s not my job” when something needs to be done, I know how to do it and have the resources to do it.
I am aware I live among others and owe them a duty as I well as the one I owe myself. This is not Kansas and I’m not Dorothy. I might wince when the first work week of my month goes to taxes but I know I have to pay for the roads I drive on and my unfortunate neighbor. I shrug this off because it is the right thing to do. I am paying attention to where my dollars are going. I am voting my conscience. I am writing this post. I am hoping my thoughts make others think and do some of the same but I am pragmatic about that, too.