Twitter: The Rules, The Numbers Game & Why I’m Not Playing

For the record, I dislike writing about Twitter because no one cares what I think about Twitter. I’m not a mover and shaker; a social media expert; a business; a SEO, CEO, CFO, alphabet soup; or an adult film artist. I’m regular folk but (and you knew THAT was coming) I am invested there and even if I gave up Twitter, I don’t see myself giving up ALL the relationships I’ve found through there. It is a community I have opinions about and since this is my corner of the internet, I’m going to blow some steam.

Several weeks ago someone I know joined Twitter and asked me about another person on Twitter. I responded to her that I could not vouch for that person and advised her to approach with caution. She then told me the reason she asked is because I was following them. Yikes! Well, truth be told, I followed back that person and when I reconstructed events, I remembered why I did but upon a second look, I unfollowed. Then about ten days ago another person I mutually follow asked me about some of the people I follow, I gave her my opinions and recommended a few others. She admitted to me she already followed others from my list because she trusts my judgment. Whoa. One false move and my integrity might be blown to bits. That really got me thinking even deeper about what the people I follow say about who I am.

Immediately after this event all hell broke loose (one would think) because @sethsimonds unfollowed EVERYONE. I woke up Monday morning, checked in before work, saw this, read his post and said to myself, “Good for him!” I had already tweeted to my stream that changes were afoot and people should tweet me if they saw anything that gave them concern. After work, I checked my stream and saw a lot of bile. I read several posts (including comments) accusing Mr. Simonds of being a spammer. I shook my head. There were angry retorts to him in my stream to which I pointed out, “He unfollowed EVERYONE.” The reaction was a morass of stupidity.

I don’t know Mr. Simonds. He wouldn’t know me if he ran over me. But I think I “get” why he did what he did. If I disappeared from Twitter tomorrow it would be of no consequence because I am not here to market, build a brand, promote my writing or anything but my own indulgences (which are a great deal of curiosity and my zest to learn.) Mr. Simonds is a writer vested in new media so he did the most egalitarian thing he could do when faced with the same dilemma I had. That was to unfollow everyone and start from scratch. You don’t like it, don’t follow. He said as much in his explanatory post (only in nicer terms).

Even though I am lesser known in social media, I do not have the chutzpah Mr. Simonds has and did not feel comfortable performing a mass deletion of my follow list. I have some emotional connections with the people in my stream. Some have been referred to me during bad times in order to ask questions and garner encouragement because I have been homeless and got through it on my own. Some have a mutual interest in finding a cure for cancer and supporting survivors because they are survivors or, like me, have lost loved ones due to the disease. Some have been told I am amusing and don’t have enough amusement in their lives. And some want to sell me something, want me to retweet their inanities, want me to follow back so they can increase their numbers, or want me to join their “pawparty” but that last group aren’t the ones I worried over when considering what to do about my follow list. The one thing they do have in common is they found me. Except for the rare occasion where I have been given an introduction to someone, I don’t follow anyone, even when I really, really want to.* My character on Twitter is unusual and purposely so in order to screen my vocational activities from my social media activities. My content is equally unusual and not to everyone’s taste but it is who I am. I don’t initiate follows because I don’t want to foist myself upon the potentially unwilling who might feel obligated to follow me back out of courtesy. With this in mind, if I had adopted Mr. Simonds model, I would be staring at a blank tweetstream. At the most, I would be speaking with the four people who read my blog. (*Note: this post was written when I had only a personal Twitter page and before I launched this blog. I do now initiate follows from @MsDevlin.)

What I finally did was, start eliminating people who do nothing but marketing. I did not have many of them to begin with because I don’t follow back anyone who is obviously using Twitter as nothing but a marketing platform but there are confidence tricksters who reel people in only to later do nothing but sell, Sell, SELL! Next I unfollowed people I did not recognize because they never speak with me or anyone I follow. This much more difficult because some were new and didn’t really have a chance to get to know me or maybe they aren’t on Twitter that much (and I don’t blame them because it is a time suck) or maybe they enjoy watching the tweets go by, catching links and other informative and entertaining bits, but not really joining the conversation. I know I deleted folks I would have enjoyed but now might never know and this saddens me but I had to reduce the noise so I can hear people again.

I lost a lot of followers last week. So be it. Anyone who has been paying attention could have seen this coming for weeks as I’ve tweeted for people to introduce themselves and let me get to know them. If they haven’t been paying attention the only reason I can assume they are following me is to boost their own numbers. I’m not done yet. I am giving myself until June 8^th, 2009 to have my follow list refined. Going forward, I am only going to follow people I would recommend to others. There may be different reasons why I would recommend them and like me, not everyone will be to everyone else's taste. Some might be amusing. Some might provide links to interesting news or applications. Some might be activists for things I believe in. Some might be good writers. Some people might simply be warm hearted, friendly souls who make me feel good just for knowing they are in the same world I am. It will be up to you to decide whether they have something to offer you. Or you could simply stop taking advice from an ordinary person who spends too much time dwelling on her integrity.

Entitlement versus Pragmatism

The world can be harsh and cold and becomes more so with each passing day. Everyone is looking out for themselves, which would be fine if they were not trampling over everyone else to get what they want.


We live in a world rife with expectations of entitlement. Everyone is entitled to a high paying job that makes them feel good. They are entitled to government benefits if they are sick or sad. They are entitled to good health care. They are entitled to have the police show up if someone has done them wrong. They are entitled to owning a home. They are entitled to being loved just for existing. I am not sure when all this entitlement began. I guess one could trace it back to the government programs after the Great Depression and around World War II. But back then, it seems, no one asked for anything they had not previously worked to earn. Now no one feels they have to DO anything to be entitled to everything.


The unfortunate reality is no one is entitled to anything and the sooner one realizes this, the more pragmatic a person can be about their decisions in life and the happier they will be. Everything is a risk. I can start a new job and work for a week and never get a paycheck. What would I do? I would stop working for that business. Next I could sue them and report them to the appropriate state agency. The appropriate state agency may do something to get me my pay but maybe they won’t. It depends on how much proof I have that I worked for the business and how well the business can deny it. As for a law suit, I have not been paid and law suits cost money so if I do not have any savings than I am SOL. I can sulk at how unfair life is or I can chalk this up to another lesson learned and find myself a new job. Someone can stab me to death as I walk down the street. Perhaps there are no witnesses. No one is punished. Perhaps there are witnesses but no one will talk. No one is punished. Maybe someone sees the act and does the right thing by testifying to what they saw. Then I am lucky that the killer is held accountable. I am not entitled to retribution and remember, in this scenario, I am still dead.


Some might say this is a dim view of the world but I’ve never viewed pragmatism as dim. A pragmatic view of the world keeps one sane and averts paralysis. I don’t live my life expecting someone to kill or cheat me but I keep my eyes open to the possibility and make deliberate choices to avert this. Since I don’t view my brother as my keeper, I do what is necessary to support myself and plan for catastrophic events (illness, natural disaster, loss of income, among other things). I don’t judge myself based on my neighbor’s behavior because I am not my neighbor. If he does not work, I am not going to refuse work until he “pulls his load.” I don’t say, “That’s not my job” when something needs to be done, I know how to do it and have the resources to do it.
I am aware I live among others and owe them a duty as I well as the one I owe myself. This is not Kansas and I’m not Dorothy. I might wince when the first work week of my month goes to taxes but I know I have to pay for the roads I drive on and my unfortunate neighbor. I shrug this off because it is the right thing to do. I am paying attention to where my dollars are going. I am voting my conscience. I am writing this post. I am hoping my thoughts make others think and do some of the same but I am pragmatic about that, too.

How I Came By My Conservative Political Beliefs

I have been mulling this post over for weeks. I know I am making myself a target by even writing it but as I concluded back when I started to encourage the bullies to beat me up instead of the younger kids, “As long as they are beating me up, they aren’t beating someone else up.”


I know my life philosophy is different than many, even other Republicans but it is borne from my life experiences. You may want to keep this is mind if you are reading this. I represent only myself and my opinions are not necessarily representative of those of the party to which I belong.


Both my parents were members of the Democratic Party. I am a very younger sibling to their first four so I remember being at various Democratic campaign offices as a child because there was no one to sit for me. My Father was retired military, a veteran of two wars and my Mother the first generation of immigrant citizens. They were also very young children during The Great Depression. My Father, a self employed carpenter, died when I was thirteen. My Mother, a Mental Health Worker for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, died when I was twenty two. Both died of cancer before they could retire. I only say all this to give you an idea of the values and lessons they likely passed on to me. It would take a book to elaborate on what these are.


If you have read my earlier posts you know I was homeless after my mother died. I was young, just starting out, and had spent all my savings while on a leave of absence from work, to care for my dying mother. I was very thankful and lucky that my employer let me come back after my mother’s death. My manager knew I had no place to live but withheld judgment since I always showed up to work on time, clean, appropriately dressed and ready to fulfill my responsibilities. It wasn’t an easy time in my life. I looked around to see if there were any programs to help me get back on my feet. All I wanted was a loan for three months rent (first month, last month and a month security deposit). I was gainfully employed, ready and able to pay back a loan. There were not any programs set up for this. I could get a handout but only if I were: battered; a woman with dependent children; physically handicapped; mentally ill and/or a substance abuser or homeless AND unemployed. Just to make sure I understood I asked, “If I quit my job, I’d be eligible for assistance?” This was answered affirmatively.


Whoa. The idea of giving up my employment, the one thing keeping me going, in order to receive a hand out is and was anathema to me. It didn't make sense to me then and doesn't now. I couldn't even get into a shelter because they locked them down before I could get there from work. I welcome someone who can explain to me how it is beneficial to encourage people to drop out of productive society in order to get back on their feet.


For over ten years I juggled trying to keep a roof over my head, some times narrowly succeeding and sometimes failing - never getting far enough ahead to feel stable, settled. Even now, I know how quickly it can all be gone. Through mistreatment by employers and crimes committed on me because I had no "status" and therefore no defense, I've survived. In retrospect, I’m grateful I had that opportunity to grow and learn.
I’ve also spent years in the non-profit sector – consumer advocacy, credit counseling, arbitrating and pro bono legal work. It feels good to help others. If you’ve never tried it, you should. Unfortunately this also taught me a more than I wanted to know about human nature and politics. There is a sizable portion of the human population who think they should be able to get things for free and as a result, be better off than those people giving them free services. What is wrong with that picture? When I was a consumer advocate I met many people who lost tens of thousands of dollars on get rich quick schemes where the secret to getting rich was preying on others. Is it any wonder they were prey? I am not talking subtle con games where it is hard to tell where the money is going to come from but schemes where it is obvious they are going to find “chumps” to earn money from. If that is not an insight into human nature, I’m not sure what is.


As a credit counselor right after the last recession, I was responsible for analyzing people’s debt, income and life situations to formulate a plan to help cash strapped people get back on their feet, financially. This position was also an eye opener. I found the largest reason otherwise responsible and hard working people incurred debt is due to unexpected health emergencies. It is easy to sympathize with that plight but the other primary reason for people getting in over their head was living beyond their means. It is the second sort who were most likely to complain they still had to pay back some of the debt they incurred. My usual way of dealing with their complaints was to ask them what they bought on unsecured credit and the answers were stereo equipment, large screen televisions, dinners out, etc. – to my ears, unnecessary garbage. To those who balked that I could only control their interest and fees but not alter their principal I clucked sympathetically and asked if they were willing to return their goods, minus depreciation of course, to the bank. That shut them up every time.


I later sought a career that suited my skill set, was resilient in a bad economy and would not leave me living hand to mouth. I found it in insurance and law. Let me say straight off I dislike insurance companies and some lawyers for the same reasons many other people do but seeing it from the inside is fascinating. I loved being able to help someone who was seriously injured get back on their feet and back into life. I hated when I had to make people jump through hoops to get what they rightly deserved but I learned it was other people who made the system that way – not insurance companies. I’ve seen people who sprained an ankle, at work or in an auto accident, take two years to heal. This is not an exaggeration – I’ve seen the x-rays, MRIs, EMGs and there may be swelling and bruising, but it subsides. Still, if one keeps saying they are in pain and a doctor is still willing to treat them, it can go on and on and on. Beats working, right?


I could go on but you are already wondering, “What’s your point?” Through all this I learned modern humans like being taken care of and there is a segment of the population who likes taking care of them. A portion of the species are happiest when they can get the most amount of gain from the least amount of expended energy. Just look at the number of “get rich quick working at home” schemes on Twitter. To make matters worse there is a segment of the population encouraging this behavior. People are trying to be kind and sometimes they are but other times they are enabling a weaker segment of our race. I’m all for a hand up but not so much a hand out. I’m all for giving people the tools to make themselves better rather than the tools to make up more excuses why they can’t be.


I don’t have much use for government and the government of BOTH major parties has shown it does not have much use for me. But Republicans encourage my industry and don’t lie to me by making empty promises that they will care for me if I need caring for. I believe our government should be our guide and not our complete means of support. I believe in the U.S. Constitution, limited interference from the federal government and states rights.


Think you know me now? I also don’t think the federal government belongs in our bedrooms. If my meaning is not obvious enough to you - I don’t believe the federal government should be determining reproduction, marriage or morals beyond those basics covered in our constitution. I believe moral behavior is best taught at home according to one’s own culture and religion. I believe this is what our forefathers intended and the First Amendment of our Constitution reinforces.


Presently both the major United States parties are ticking me off. My own party gets my goat in violating one of their original core principals by trying to use the federal government to legislate morality. The Democratic Party has me peeved with their bailouts. Mostly it is individual members of each party who are so set in their ways that they can’t speak, do not want to speak, with each other. They seem to have forgotten we are all part of the same nation and as such, it is the progress and success of our nation we should work together to fulfill.


So flame away, all of you. The right can tell me I am going to hell in a hand basket and the left can tell me I couldn’t understand what it is to be underprivileged because, being a Republican; I obviously live a life of great means in my ivory tower. Flame away.