Social Media Family, Friends, Colleagues and Neighbors: What I've Learned About Online Relationships

I have been involved in social media for a little over two years. Few people would disagree I am more on the social side of it than the media side but as a person with endless curiosity and a thirst to learn, I read about it, attend webinars and seminars and discuss it with others who have similar interests. I have not (yet) used it to conduct or promote business but I know many people who do and I understand how they use it. My circle of acquaintances is wide and varied across several nations; another reflection of my desire to be exposed to different ideas, cultures and lifestyles and learn from them.

Lately I have been thinking about how these relationships would be defined in terms used prior to the advent of social media. Some are obvious such as family and friends who were made prior to communicating on line. The few people I discuss possible future business collaboration with I think of as colleagues – by joining together we may mutually benefit each other with our collective talent. There are those who I enjoy speaking with but would probably never meet for a cup of coffee - these I consider neighbors. There are people who live local or have come through Boston and made a point of scheduling time to see me. When we hit it off and can sit comfortably talking for hours with no agenda, I consider these people new friends. There are instances where some of these can overlap as in when a neighbor or friend and I discover we have a mutual interest we can collaborate on. This can lead to a neighbor becoming a friend because we've found something mutual we share but there are times the connection morphs more into a colleague relationship. Given time and trust a colleague can become a friend.

Sometimes relationships are not so easily defined. The challenge there, just as in times prior to social media, is balancing how much one is willing to sink into the relationship compared to the potential return. Recently I was out with some friends I've met through social media. I brought up something minor but which troubled me none the less, hoping that by airing it, they could give me insight. They changed the subject. I steered back onto the topic which they immediately deflected. It hit me then: these are not your friends. Reflecting on this I realize, I potentially have something to offer them but minus this commonality, they likely would have nothing to do with me. And that is fine. We do have that one commonality and by working with them, under their rules, I can possibly create change in something I care about. Now I just have to decide whether I want to work with them to create this change, work alone, or not work at all.

The complexity of relationships hasn't changed with the advent of social media. Social media has just added another layer of complexity. There are and have always been relationships we nurture with the prospect of no gain aside from how they make us feel. This happens in social media, too. Sometimes it is harder to identify, though just as important to go into with not only our minds and hearts, but also our eyes, wide open.

Photograph used under creative commons license courtesy of red daisies